This Poly Life

So, after 5 years, the Tribe is Tribe no more. Diva, Gryff and I have split. They took the dogs, the cats, the hamster (all 3 legs of her) and their Miracle. I took the Trailer of Woe. On the upside, the landlord was kind enough to lower the rent to fit the diminished occupancy. Thanks Pat.

So we are a Tribe no more, but it was a civil, friendly split. I still talk to them. Me and Diva shuffle emails back and forth. Gryff works as many mad hours as I do, so our convo level is about what it was when we were all housemates.

Sometimes I miss them A LOT. Like a curl up and rock till the dull ache goes away, miss. I keep busy, the kids definitely help there, and I have gone back to school YAY.

I am attending Colorado Tech University Online. I am currently going for ASBA in Biz Admin. I will eventually be going for the BS (mwhaha) in Network Admin. It's a good time. I can even do assignments at work.

I've also started a second job phone sexing. It's sometimes hit and miss but I grabbed a check last week that nearly broke 200. That came in handy midweek when the gas tank was gasping on the final dregs of last payday's fill up. And there's only so much you can do with chicken and beans. I mean really.

I've been battling something that acts like tendonitis in my left elbow but according to the job's Worker's Comp doc is not. Also recently looked into and got into a home-based business venture. I keep forgetting to tell Diva bout it. It was only 50.00 to get in and it gives me a discounted rate on medical needs like vision, dental, scripts, etc. You can check into it here or here. If you have no interest in joining the business side of it, you can check out the discount plans here.

I'm still writing for AC and even picked up another scribbling gig along the way.

As for the kids, KJ is adjusting to middle school. Tweety is astounded by the high drama of high school. Ben is doing MUCH better on his grades this year. Not one F, not even a D on his midterm report (WOOHOO), and Steele is in Gifted.

My sister has suggested we move to Shreveport since the one reason I came to FL is no longer viable. The only thing that hesitated me was Luna. I love that lil bean, and so do the kids. we haven't seen much of her though, so...I don't know that there is really anything holding me here anymore. Sis has been sicker the last few months than usual. Her lupus is trying to make a comeback, and it makes me nervous that she has no family within hundreds of miles.

So...we may indeed be picking up and moving across the country again. I can't even begin to contemplate such a thing until next year though. We just don't have the lump sum cash it would take to get there and get a house, plus I want a job there before we move. We cannot descend upon my sister the way we did to Diva & her roomy when we got here. That was just too many tootsies in one sock. Besides, me and Sis get along WAY better when we do not live together.

So, yes, I have been a bad blogstress. The split happened in May, and I have only now come to the point where I can write about it. No excuse, of course, I could have blogged something else. But how do you follow the Boss's itchy cooter story? I mean.. that was just... Cosmic...

Ta ta

~Raven

I almost took this to twitter, but 140 characters just won't allow me decent scope with this one.

Paisley and I used to be phone whores. We had the most amazing pimp. Boss could pimp to blind clergy and make sick money. I don't say this to upset the christians, not at all. It's of a level where she could sell sand at the beach, shoes to fish and cat hair remover to people who only have hamsters. It goes beyond art. Boss rocks.

So she calls me today and while we chat she tells me that she's been diagnosed with diabetes. 2 months and one day. Been on the diet and lost 40 pounds, life is looking up. The fun part is how she found out she had diabetes.

Boss had mad interior cootch itchies. Her chums told her it was probably a yeast infection, so she goes to the local super duper giant store in her teeny weenie podunk town and they're out of yeast cream. She decided to go to the snatch doc instead of waiting for the store's next shipment. Boss strolls in and when asked by the front clerk her purpose for the visit, she replies "I don't have a friend in the world." The nurse blinks, takes a breath then says "I think we may have some numbers for you to call....they're on the wall in the back..." Boss just tells her "It's ok, you'll do." The nurse starts to look worried. Boss shakes her head sadly and tells the woman "Not one of my friends will turn my twat inside out and scrub it with a wire brush. Nope. Not a friend in the world..." The clerk bursts out into hysterical laughter and has Boss wait for the doc. Doc does the tests and voila - Diabetes.

Ok, raise your cooter scratching hand if you knew unchecked diabetes causes crazy inner vaginal itching.

Why wasn't this in my vagina manual? I have a serious feeling that I'm going to write a book when my youngest finally gets into school. "The care and feeding of your cooter." Nothing too terribly long, but cross referenced like mad. All the little things that you don't know until they happen to you or your best friend.... or your ex-pimp.

Now, this is a little bit of a stretch when it comes to "what this has to do with being poly", which is of course, the reason for this blog's existence.

I look at this video and my blood boils. There's no audio so we have no idea what the girl may have said to drive the deputy and his companion to attack this girl so brutally.

The point is moot however. They are cops. She was in their custody. She wasn't being physically aggressive, and she was trapped in a glorified closet. There is no excuse for this.

Now, to relate this to poly living: I ran for my life from Texas after the father of my 4th child attacked me. If Texas didn't have a Zero Tolerance policy for domestic violence, I think I would still be trapped there, terrified and always wondering if he would find me again. Instead I'm here, happy and safe. There are still times even five years later, when I think a guy walking down the street or sitting at a table might be him, and I always suffer a moment of panic.
This girl will always be afraid. She may or may not have or find someone to ease those moments of irrational terror. She may spend the rest of her life emotionally scarred from this assault. I'm sure we can all agree she damn sure won't have much in the way of respect for cops of any sort.

Cops are given the tacit trust of society. They are expected to protect those us from the seedier element and stand as authority figures and models of behavior and citizenship. This cop acted like a WWE wrestler. I wonder if he would have attacked a male of similar size and build that way.
But I've gotten off the point:

The point is this: Because of my own experience (and it was the only time in my adult life that I was victimized in such a fashion) I have broken out of the box and given myself permission to be free and fearless. I can only hope this girl finds that spark within herself to do the same. I hope her recovery was swift, and I hope justice is even swifter when if comes to dealing with these betrayers of the public trust.

OK. Rant over. Watch the video. Comments welcome.


~Raven

It amuses me to watch all this love and happiness on a day that legend tells us a man was martyred for defying the Emperor's decree against young men marrying. Another idea of Valentine's Day origin is base don the Roman Feast of Lupercal, which began the Spring seasons with young men running through the streets of Rome slapping women and crops with blood-soaked strips of goat hide to bring forth fertility. More info on possible origins of Valentine's Day are here.

No matter what it started about, February 14th has long been associated with love. In the Tribe, we approach this day with a mix of tradition. The two younger boys get cards and fill them out with candy or, in KJ's case, tattoos to pass out to their class mates. Ben didn't ask for or do anything this year. Stefanya snagged a few balloons from a her concert to give away, along with a boatload of candy & some heart-shaped suckers.
Betwixt the adults, I got a big bag of M & Ms (ty Diva/Gryffin) and a ziploc bag of chocolate hearts. Diva put together an awesome dinnerr (that she swears she will never do again) that I can't wait to get home and dive into.

Usually, Diva will have the kids make cards for me, but this year, we reversed it. I made cards for them. I wrote a short note to each of them, and added some candy I had stashed at work (people give me stuff all the time and it just goes in a drawer...unless it's chocolate no-nuts, no-caramel...THAT's MINE).

I used a lotta tape and some construction paper -just like they would ( 'cept usual sticky medium @ home is glue) and highlighters, of which I have many (no idea where most of em came from, really).

These are the love letters I wrote my kids for Valentine's day 2009.

Ben,

I look at you and I can’t help but remember when you were so tiny. I look at you and I think of the man you’re becoming. No matter what, you are always my Monster Man, my Biggest Boy. I love you as you are, no matter what that is, and I’ll love you as you will become, no matter what or who that may be. I’ve tried to give you the freedom to grow and change as an independent, individual and free creature. I’m proud of you when you try and succeed. I cheer for you when you try and fail.
Be who you are.
Fear nothing.
Live out loud and out of the box.
I love you.

Mom


Fanya

Your energy and giving nature make you a flame that people, your age, older and younger can’t help but flock to. You live with everything you have and I am thrilled to watch you grow into a beautiful, intelligent and fearless woman. I look forward to your chatter & even to your teen angst & drama. When you were little, you were my Monstress. You are now my Tweety Pie, a shining star and an every-blooming flower, my Camille. I never cease to be awed by you, and proud of you.
I love you.

Mom


Kris

You are the most creative, most energetic, far thinking not-so-little guy. Your sharp wit is priceless. I continue to be amazed by how deeply you can think, and how fearless you are. You are courageous, and generous. You are my Beast Boy, my Running Buddy, and now, my Middle Man. You have no idea how proud and excited I am when you play your clarinet. Never forget who you are, and never allow the world to steal your light and laughter.
I love you.

Mom


Steele

My sweet little boy, your curious nature and creativity are astounding. Keep asking questions and always look for the truth in yourself and in others. Don’t settle for almost; make it make sense to you. Don’t be afraid to seek truth and don’t be discouraged by lies. You will learn to rise above the people who will try to misuse your open heart. You will shine no matter what you do or where you are. You are my Tiny Guy, my SteeliMan, my Baby Boy.
Be good.
Be kind.
I love you.

Mom


I didn't write anything for Luna, because she's 3 (nearly 4) and she'd rip it apart getting at the candy. For future reference, I decided to write my love letter to her here, so she can refer back to it when she cares enough to read such things.

Luna,

You are our Miracle, our blessing from the Gods. Your mother searched a long time to find a father for you, and together we love you more than any words can say. When you were born so small and so frail all of us were so afraid we would lose you. Now you're so strong and vibrant, it's hard to believe you were once no heavier than a Coke, and shorter than a Barbie doll. You came home, and could barely cry loud enough for me to hear you from another room. Now, we can hear you from across the street! You are our precious Monkey, our Baby Girl. You are my Luna V2, a sweet smart little girl who will rock the world of anyone daring enough to love you as we do.

I love you.

Snooky, Your Other Mom


Love Letters to My Mates....coming soon...

~Raven

So I entered a giveaway at Christina Jade Jewelry. The lovely lady's sweet little girl pulled my name out a fish bowl a week ago and WOOHOO I won!

I found the website thru Twitter, which appears to be the new craze in micro-blogging. You get 140 characters to speak your mind. I love it.

Anyway I was at work and cj_jewelry announced I won. Understand; it was about 2-3 am and things were quiet at work so I was a little oatmeal brained and trying not to be. So I see this tweet roll up and I woke ALL the way up. I was so excited!! I had Diva help me pick out my prize: a necklace with matching earrings and bracelet (Schweet, no?).

All the jewelry at the site is handmade and each piece is unique. Christina -the sweetheart- even sent a me lil something extra! It all arrived today -thru no fault of hers, it took a little longer than we both expected to arrive- and here it is!

My last slave bracelet fell apart so I am digging this on cosmic levels.


This is the centerpiece as far as I'm concerned. This thing is FIERCE and I luvvv it!


Matching earrings! Long and dangly just the way I like 'em!

And the spare bit o' something she thru into the mix:






Yup that's bamboo.
So go check out the site and get your own bling from Christina Jade!!!

I haven't decided what to do with the spare bit yet. Diva likes classical, vintage-y stuff, so I'm debating with myself. We'll see what happens *shhhh*

Mad thanks to Gryffin for not popping me a good one while I was gushing and ordering him to "take pictures.... I need pictures!"

And to my daughter Tweety for modeling, & my son Steele for helping me take more pictures after Gryffin escaped me. :P
And to my son KJ for fetching the mail and bringing the package straight to me (there's a good boy) :D.

Thank you Diva for helping me decide which piece I wanted. She picked out the one I spent the most time drooling over when I first found the site..What can I say..she knows me.

But the biggest thanks goes to cj_jewelry and her little girl! Thank you so much!!


~Raven

So I've been tagged by a groovy twit-chick, RoguePuppet. She won one of HP's Magic Giveaways and I started following her blog because, as mentioned, she's groovy.

So she got tagged to share 7 weird & possibly unknown things about herself via blog. After doing such, she tagged me and six other blogging souls.
Like dear Rogue, I don't make a habit of keeping my quirks on the down low. This entire blog is proof of that.
Of course, I'm a bad Blogstress, so I've fallen behind.
As you can see if you clicked up there, she tagged me a couple of days ago. It's taken me this long to get around to thinking of at least 7 things that may not be known about me.
I nearly popped an eyeball on this, Nan m'dear. So most of the things I managed to come up with were a little trivial, but when I thought about it, even the trivial things, when taken together, make up the whole of who I am in my own eyes, & in the eyes of my mates.
So here goes:

1. My favorite candy in all the world is Plain M & Ms. Not peanut, peanut butter, dark, etc. Just plain M & Ms. Diva gets a squeal (yes a true, honest to goodness girly squeal) out of me when she appears with a bag - size doesn't matter- of Ms.

2. I hate being late. I hate it so much I leave my house for work at least 90 minutes early, usually 2 hours early. If I'm not on the freeway at least an hour before I have to be clocked in, I get sweaty, shaky, and nauseous.

3. I have advanced periodontal disease. Because of this, my teeth have been going bad for the past 5 years. I am very self-conscious about this. I don't smile in pictures anymore, and I make a concerted effort not to do the tooth-revealing grin thing. We were hoping to get the front teeth, which are terribly damaged, replaced this year past, but other medical issues took precedence. After conversations where I know I laughed a lot, I worry whether or not the people around me saw my teeth and what they thought of me if they did.

4. I have never had a serious, long lasting relationship with another black person. All of my committed, serious involvements have been with non-black people. I don't know why, except that it seems I can't connect -and stay connected- with people of my own ethnic group. Until my current 3some, my choices of male companions turned out unfortunate. It seems that unless Diva & I choose together, the male chosen doesn't last long. At least, Gryffin seems to be proving the theory so far. I'm sure it has holes but...

5. I have never ever used a lawn mower. I don't even know how. I'm sure if I had to, I could figure it out, but we have 3 boys & 2 girls plus Gryff & I don't see me having to handle yard work - at least the really heavy stuff- myself.

6. I am terrified of loogies( or however you spell it). You know the globs of spit & mucus people spit out? They skeve me completely out. I freak out at even the mention. I'm gritting my teeth to keep from shuddering in disgust just writing about it.

7. Even though I'm on birth control and Gryffin has perfected his aim, I'm certain my Goddess is going to find a way to plant another kid in me before I'm 40. We planned a hysterectomy this year, but it got away from us. So we're planning it for next year. I hope - I really do- that we get it done before She shoots me up with Gryff's boys. My last pregnancy wore me out terribly. On the other hand, Gryff makes pretty babies, so we'll see what comes first :insert tongue in cheek HERE:.


OK. Tag, you're it:

Mama Grimtribe
TheUserPool
merlotmom
acowboy'swife
feathermaye
craftyGAgal
littleput
Let the good times roll.

~Raven

Back in April a tree fell on our house. I was at work but the rest of the Tribe was home –animals too- and spent several hours trying to sort it out. I felt like a sideliner because I didn’t even know until I rolled in around 4 am.
In our time of need, our neighbor gave us roof. She’s an elderly lady with a small trailer but she made room for us.
We got back in our house a little over a month later and YAY we’re still friends with that dear neighbor –I know living together can destroy the most idyllic conditions, but we made it!
I mention this to explain what’s happened recently. Diva befriended the parents of one of my daughter’s many exes. They’re from out of state and had no transportation, so Diva runs Ms. W around while Mr. J bikes to work @ Wal-Mart (it’s not uncommon down here, really). They have 2 sons in-house (16/14), 2 ankle-biter dogs & a ferret.
I took W with me & the Herd to the town Christmas parade this Saturday past and we had a great time. Sunday at work Diva texts me: They’re being evicted.

Shock? Certainly. W talks to Diva about everything. No mention of pending homelessness had come up.
I don’t know the owner’s reasoning or anything, and I will refrain from expressing my uncomplimentary opinion (mostly), but my first reaction was: Are they staying in our living room or the spare room at your Dad’s?
There was nothing to consider. Of course we would help them. They didn’t ask, and probably wouldn’t have, but we can’t allow them to be on the street, knowing we could have helped.
So, yeah, we got 4 extra peeps under this shrinking (newly replaced!) roof, but we’re getting along. They’ve already been scoping for new digs & Diva is assisting them with filing formal complaints against the owner (snarl).

The eldest of their boys has had some trouble, as teens are wont to. His is getting frightening for his mother so Diva and me have slipped a lil unconventional (pagan/hippie/goth style) wisdom into the cracks in his armor. I hope its working. We have a boy his age & I’d be beside myself if Ben was getting into the things this kid thinks are funny (refraining…).
The other kid is quieter, studious & hangs under his mom. Both are interested in computers and technology.

Drooling over all the gear being offered by Hewlett Packard in their HP Magic GiveAway got me thinking. I’ve got a few thrown together systems here. We have Ben, at 16 in high school, who really does need his own computer. Tweety has a lil laptop we managed to snag for cheap, & KJ & Steelio would be thrilled with that PC. Gryff is almost as puter-geeky as me...a laptop would put a shine on his face that would eclipse the sun.

So I very quietly waited for word of the opening, and it happened to come just after all this went down with W, J, and their boys.

So I began rethinking. We have systems, albeit thrown together. The boys share a computer and W & J share. W is a mature lady and not overly comfy with technology. She’s trying, even let Diva convince her to take a puter course @ the local library. Her health is up & down though, so she misses a lot.

If she had a laptop…Diva and me could help her out at home, or even here at our homestead. She’s getting into digital photography, and her younger boy takes homeschooling courses online.

This is too much gear to keep it all, I mean really. Even if we didn’t have the W & J sitch, Diva’s pop has been puterless for months & Ben really does need. I have a brother going to Iraq this month. I would love to set him up to make sure we keep in touch. His twin sister in Texas is without a computer & wants to continue her education…

The possibilities are truly endless.

It’s been my observation that there is no coincidence. There are reasons under reasons why things happen, why certain people are in some places at certain times.

We as a people have lost that *my brother’s keeper* mentality. We aren’t villagers closing the gates at sunset to keep the Boogie Man away from our sheep, our kids, our homes. We have shut ourselves off from each other. We cannot make this trip alone. We have to reach out to each other, even if that reach is denied, the attempt, the offer –and the sincere desire to give and help- is what matters.

If I won the HP Magic Give Away, I would give away all but a system each for my son & Gryffin, and the printer. The rest, we have no need for. And we have more than enough people around us who do need.

What does this have to do with being poly? Not a clue. Except maybe in the spirit of living with multiple partners, we as a people need to open our hearts and minds to the fact its not all about just us…its about all of us…floating around on this rock together.

Some of the awesome peeps offering this chance to the rest of us!
Sugar Jones
The Techie Diva
The Fire Mom
Liliputing
MerlotMom
OSNN
SlashGear
DigitalHomeThoughts
..And more!
UPDATE: Winner of techmamas.com HP GiveAway!